I bought this super cute reflection journal from awesome stationery store Kikki.K for use from the start of this year. It basically gives you a sentence to complete, or a question that you have to answer, every day. The journal is supposed to last three years and the aim is to see how you or your circumstances change during the three years. Check it out here.
It has been really interesting filling it out and I thought it could inspire blogging topics as well. I won’t actually be posting a sentence a day – I think that would be too difficult to maintain. Haha. So without further ado, here is the topic for today!
My answer would be… Nag at Fadzly.
Hahaha. Okay, before you think it’s some petty thing that women do. I’d like to explain more and I really hope you’ll read the entire entry.
Okay so I love her with all my heart, but my mother is a bit of a control freak. She’s the kind that waits by kitty’s litter bin to pick up the poop and pee immediately after he’s done, and give his bum a little wipe – WITHOUT FAIL (much to kitty’s annoyance). She’s the kind that mops and sweeps the house every single day after work because she can’t stand dust on the floor. She’s the kind that shuts all the windows in the house, making it absolutely stifling, because the neighbours are cooking and the smell fills up the house – she even gets mad at them! I mean, really? You may think it’s a clean-freak thing, but really she is trying to control things that shouldn’t need to be controlled. The cat’s poop and pee can sit in the litter for a while, nobody’s going to die.
As a parent, she’s the type that would forbid you from doing anything risky or out of the norm – like me being jobless for a few months now and using my limited savings to travel. Cue “You cannot be sitting at home like this, you should find a job and make lots of money at this age!” lectures. Of course, I understand this mindset developed from her own growing-up experience, but it’s still hard to deal with.
You know the quote, “The ugliness you see in others is a reflection of yourself”? I’d always wished she would loosen up and not control everything so much – she’d be less stressed out. I voiced it out and tried to make her let go. Then it hit me – I was trying to control her too. I was trying to make her see “my way” because I “think” it’s better for her.
Which brings me to my point (thanks for staying with me). Growing up my whole life under this subtle but persistent influence, I emulate this behaviour. I realised I was doing the same to Fadzly.
“Don’t lie down on the floor if you’re sweaty!”
“Flush the toilet only when you’re done!” (Do all guys do the whole “push the flush while peeing and hope to end both simultaneously” thing?)
“Put your shoes on the floor mat! Not the floor!”
“Don’t do this! Don’t do that! Don’t buy this! So expensive!”
Therefore, one thing that I should do less often is nag at him to do things the way I think it should be done. He recently asked me if it was okay to buy a $680 helmet (it was time for a new one). My initial reaction was to flip out at the price ($680?!?!!) and tell him to absolutely not buy it. But then I remembered my realisations, and I gave him my opinion: that it is an incredibly expensive helmet. But I told him that if he thinks he has the cash to spare and it’s worth the price then he should decide himself whether or not he wants to get it – I wouldn’t interfere in his decision and support whatever it is in the end. If it ends up being a mistake, it’s a lesson he’s suppose to learn and I should not be in the way of that.
Said expensive helmet.
Moving forward I’m trying to learn how to let go, especially of the little things. After all, just as I hate being stifled by my mum’s micro-management, I shouldn’t do the same to others – especially a loved one.
So, tell me! What is the one thing YOU should do less often? I’d love to hear in the comments below :).
Love, Ruby
Ruby Tan 